My Communication Etiquette or How I Hate to Be Contacted

We live in an era of smart devices and Internet. Everybody who wants to have a communication device in their pocket, has it there.

In addition to cellular connection, there are a lot of messengers which can be used to send texts, smileys, pictures, videos, links and perform voice and video calls.

In past times there was a problem: “how to reach a person?” And everyone dreamed about personal pocket device with the Internet connection. But now there is another problem: “How to escape from intrusive people, their calls and messages?”

My Vision of the Issue

A few years ago, I saw a young man walking, stumbling and falling due to the fact that he was texting on the go in his iPhone. So I decided to write an article about how innovative technology may become evil for you. Some time later, I came up with some rules of conduct that reflect my attitude to calls and messages.

#1. I (Hate) Don’t Respond Unexpected Voice Calls

I hate when someone decides that I must stop doing everything and turn to talking over the phone. So I don’t respond voice calls unless there was an arrangement to phone up.

unexpected incoming WhatsApp Call iPhone

I don’t want anyone to decide that I must stop talking to someone, stop paying attention to the road when I’m driving, and god forbid wake me up from sleeping right now because someone decided to call me.

Why should I stop conversation in real and start talking over the phone? Why should I put my family at risk by answering a call when I’m driving? Of course, there is no reason for that.

I prefer to receive a text message over Telegram where the party introduces themselves, briefly explains why they want to reach me and negotiate about the time when we can talk. It is normal when I receive the following text:

“Hi, Adam! This is Vincent from … . I can’t figure out how to solve our problem with network overload in our Office in Atlanta. When could we talk?”

Then, we will schedule a call.

#2. I Hate Multiple Text Messages

a lot of WhatsApp messages
a lot of WhatsApp messages from an impudent person

Here is the example:

How r u?
This is John
We have a problem
Call me.
Are you here?
Please, do reply!!!!

It was eight times your phone played notification alert and eight times it vibrated.

I happened to have such friends in the past who loved to send every single word as an individual message which made my phone hot of constantly ringing, vibrating and lighting up the screen. So I do know what I am talking about. It is hell.

#3. I Stop Communication With People Who Waste My Time

Unfortunately, I have come across people who tended to fill all my time with themselves. They are calling and calling, they are texting and texting, and the most important thing is that they expect you to respond shortly. On top of that, such people often reach you to ask for your help in solving their endless problems.

Over the years of experience I figured out that the best decision here is:

  1. first explain that you don’t like to be on the phone for such a long time and you don’t want to text when you are at the meeting, when driving, playing with your children or having rest.
  2. if they don’t understand, block them in the app where they are bothering you without no doubt.
    You may tell them that your phone went out of order or that you plan to go on vacation to another country. The most important: take a decisive step and stop communicating with any excuse or without such.
    In some cases it is advisable to even block all strangers on your iPhone or Android or

Rule#4. No One Dares to Decide When I Should Be Online

If someone tells me that they will call tomorrow at 2 PM, it doesn’t mean that I should obey and wait for their call. I do not allow anyone to appoint me a call. No one, even members of my family should do so. First, we must discuss and agree, and then call up.

Rule #5. I Have a Right to Choose the Circle of Friends

If I don’t reply to a message or don’t answer a call, most likely I just don’t want to talk or chat with you.

I can’t stand persistent people when it comes to phone calls and even messengers. If I don’t answer, I either can’t do it or don’t wish to. I have a right to not reply and choose whom I want to communicate with and whom – not.

The more missed calls or texts, the less probability that I will call back or reply.

My Etiquette: Summary

missed calls on Android

Be Concise and Polite When Calling & Texting

I always be polite to whom I’m trying to reach. I try not to call without permission except a real emergency. I always send a message with a question “Hi! This is Adam Swift from Indianapolis. I have a question about <something>. Please, tell me if I can call you and when? I’m available on Telegram at +1 555 <number>.”

When I send a text message over WhatsApp, Telegram or iMessage I always type everything in one message. If the person whom you are sending the text to is at meeting and forgot to put their phone to the Mute mode let their phone sound and vibrate once rather than several times.

Don’t Be Too Persistent

If the person hasn’t answered for an hour or two or even three hours there is no point in sending yet another message like “Hey! R U there?”. If they are alive, they haven’t lost their smartphone and they want to respond, they will respond.

If they have already blocked you, there is no point in sending “Hey! Please, reply!”

If someone you are trying to reach just doesn’t want to respond your text or call back or pick up, most likely, they won’t respond. And the more you will attack them with your calls and texts, the more likely they will block you.

Wrapping Up

Your mobile phone with all those apps like Facetime and WhatsApp should help you, but not help others bother you when they want. Don’t be excessively polite. You should make your own life comfortable rather than serve others.

If you are unavailable or if you don’t answer, there must be reasons behind that. And you are not required to answer the call, unless you have an agreement to phone up. So do not give such promises out of politeness. If you don’t want to communicate, just say “I don’t want”.

People have no right to make you communicate. All they can do is behave in such a way that you want to communicate with them.

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